Serenity

Serenity – The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. – Oxford Dictionary

Serenity and happiness go hand in hand.

I was recently thinking about what it means to actually be happy. That feeling of finally having the things you’ve wanted. That feeling can be somewhat unfamiliar and scary. It’s that realisation that you have nothing substantial to complain about. For the first time in a very long time things are going well. Because of this you should maybe step out of your bubble, become selfless and help someone who actually needs it. That thought alone is terrifying!

Serenity is a how I would describe the space I am in right now. Of course there are things that I still want, and things I hope to one day change. For the most part though I am happy. Serene even.

I have a tiny corner of London I can officially call my own. From the moment started blogging this is thing I have been talking about the most. Wanting my own space, some independence. Well now I have it!
The thing I am enjoying the most is being completely self-sufficient. Washing my own clothes, cooking my own food and keeping my space tidy. 3 things I notoriously despised doing until recently. I think it’s knowing if I don’t do these things the won’t get done. I am in complete control of my own quality of life. Scary but awesome.

I am pretty happy in my relationship to!

The one thing I want to change is my job. I have learnt so much this year as an apprentice. I’ve gone from being a complete baby, not knowing much about what it meant to work 9-5. Now I’ve gotten to a place where I’m ready for the next challenge. I guess that’s next in my journey for serenity.

I feel like finding serenity is trying to find total peace. It’s a super difficult task that isn’t always entirely possible. What is possible though is finding peace in life’s chaos. I think my life is pretty calm for the moment, it isn’t guaranteed to stay that way. There are many moments, relationships and new challenges to focus on.

Searching for serenity is like searching for happiness. Sometimes it comes easy and sometimes it’s hard work. Despite all the hard times, those moments of serenity makes it make sense.

Stay Bliss, Laura

 

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31 Days of Emotions – Anticipation

This month I will be participating in the 31 day blogging challenge. I previously did this challenge in march and found it thoroughly enjoyable but at the same time rough. I also didn’t quite manage to post every single day so I’m going to give another shot. I have been writing as much as I used to, so I’m hoping this month will kick-start my creative juices.

In march I found a generic daily blogging questions image and answered each question.

31

This month I have been advised to choose a topic to write about. I wanted to choose something that kept in tone with my narrative, which is all about positivity and how overcome adverse times. The way I’m going to do this is by making this the 31 Days of Emotions. Each day I will choose an emotion which I will discuss. It seems so organised and planned out but I’m still so confused as to how this will all pan out!


Anticipation

So I feel it is only right to dedicate this post to the feeling of anticipation.

I’m starting off on a bit of a downer, with only half an hour left of the day and only posting now. However I am very excited about starting this creative process once again.

So what am I anticipating to gain during this process?

The last time I participated in a blogging challenge I found that I was putting limits on myself. I was convincing myself that I couldn’t write about certain things but was then surprised by the outcome.

I also figured out somethings about myself that I hadn’t before. I delved into what it was life was like for teenage Laura. I have always been quite hard on myself, I look back on few secondary school moments and cringe hard. It was nice to look back on my youth in a positive way. Seeing all the mess ups as learning tools instead of cringe moments.

So during these 31 days of emotions I anticipate learning more about myself. I hope to continue to be honest with myself and with my readers and I hope by the end of this journey I found it easier to sit down and write.

Only 10 minutes left eek!!

Until tomorrow

Stay Bliss, Laura

Clear skies ahead

I have known since July that I wanted to write a post dedicated to Happiness.

But how to say what I want to say? What are my thoughts on happiness? Am I even happy?

Recently my life has been full of new and exciting changes. If you have read my other post you would know that there is 3 things that I wanted. 3 things that I was convinced would bring me to happiness. A new home, a love life and a shiny new job. This perfect trio would bring me all the joy in the world. These three things would make this adulting thing actually okay and maybe even slightly enjoyable.

So why aren’t I jumping and screaming about this so-called new-found happiness? Why am I not over the moon? Why doesn’t my mood reflect all these amazing changes?img_6606

There are times where it has. I have taken a few moments throughout these past months to look at what I have achieved and actually be proud of myself. I think to myself ‘this is the feeling I want to write about.’ However this feeling doesn’t stay. A couple of days later I feel myself being climbing down and wondering what happened.

Maybe happiness doesn’t stay because we push it away. Not letting yourself just be happy and in the moment is way of self-sabotage. We are so used to having problems that we almost can’t handle not having any.

You can have everything in the world and still not be happy. Recently I have been pretty down in the dumps, which is unsurprising  for this time of month. I have been in a ‘stop the world, I want to get off’ kind of mood.

When good things happen just ACCEPT that a good thing has happened.

Life can be so tough sometimes, and at one point or another you will go through a rough patch. When going through a tough time I focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. A time that won’t be so hard. The storm finally being over and the clear skies that are now finally visible.

No more sitting idly by. And no more creating a storm where there is none.

Happiness is an inside job, something that won’t always click into place on its own. When it doesn’t you have to work at it. I have the power to do so I will create my own clear skies. See through that Laura-made tunnel.

There have been so many times when I have felt genuinely happy but fought that weird, unfamiliar, warm  feeling off.

I CAN’T BE HAPPY. THERE MUST BE SOME KIND OF PROBLEM I CAN FOCUS ON.

The truth there is that things aren’t perfect. There’s a lot of challenges I need to overcome and things I have to work through. However at the moment life is good. I worked long and hard, and almost gave up several times but I got what I’ve always wanted.

Independence.

Independence can be quite lonely sometimes but this shouldn’t be confused with being unhappy. wineI am on my own now because I choose to be. I am finally self-sufficient and am enjoying taking care of myself. When I have a bad day, going back to my empty room can make me feel worse. My mind plays tricks on me and convinces me that I am unhappy because I am alone.

Focusing on the important things is what I have taken away from the experience. Figuring out what is real and what is not. When I feel lonely there are people I can call and places I can go. Rather than sit and dwell on all the things I have to be sad about, I can stand and think about all the things that I have achieved. I can work on a new plan for things I am yet to achieve.

The biggest things I have taken from this confusing sad/happy period of time is that sometimes it is up to me actively change the way I feel.

Create your own clear skies.

Stay Bliss, Laura

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Photo Credit – Alisha Dandy http://instagram.com/alishadandy

I shall be doing the October challenge where I will be posting everyday for a month! I haven’t posted in a while so I am a bit rusty which makes this even more of a fun challenge 🙂 Keep your eyes peeled!

 

Trust the Journey

I am afraid that I will waste my life due to the bad decisions I made when I was younger. I fear that I will never know true passion for a job like others do. I am not perfect and cannot give everything 100% at all times. I don’t want to spend my time trying to be an adult and trying super hard to be good at what I do to have the small mistakes stack up against me. I fear that I am not always thinking important things through. Am I running with what my heart is telling me rather than listening to the logic and reason of my mind. Maybe my biggest dreams and goals won’t come true because I am not taking the correct risks. What are the right risks? Is there even such a thing as bad risks? I am afraid that I will never know what it is like to have someone be in love with me. Will always be ‘one of the gs’ Laura? Is that image I have in my head of me super happy and succesful just a fantasy? Is the reality a lot dimmer than that.

Trust the journey.

I obsess about everything. I over think everything.  Today more than any other day I have been really in my head. Stressing about the big changes I have decided to make and trying to figure out if these risks are going be worth. You learn a lot from failure but nobody WANTS to fail. I want the decision to move out to be a succesful one. I want the decision to go for a new job which is way above my level to be a succesful one.

I have been sat at my desk all day with a thousands thoughts flying through my head, almost to the point of tears. What if I don’t get the job? What do I do then? Is moving out a good idea right now? Also I have been beating myself up because have I a really gone out of my way to prove why this job should be mine?

Then I looked up. ttj2

I immediately calmed down and remembered why this is my mantra. Opportunities come everyday. A no does not always mean never. If I have made mistakes and failed to prove why I am the best then that’s a lesson for me. Meanwhile ‘no’ does not equal the end. Life does not wrap itself up once you don’t get something you want.

It carries on with it’s journey and shows you why things have to happen the way they happened. All you can do is try your absolute hardest and trust. Trust that the job you want will happen for you when you put the work. Trust that one day you will find love the same way everybody else has. Trust that the risks you take will pay off in a big way or teach you a valuable lesson.

Honestly I don’t know if taking the big step to move out of my parents house is the right thing to do right now. It might all blow up in my face and within a couple months I am back in my old room with a brusied ego, licking my wounds. Maybe it will work and this is it for me. A start of a new journey into adulthood. Either way I am doing because I believe I will regret more the things that I don’t even try.

I am doing it because I am trusting the journey.

I have tried to write this post a dozen times over the last few months but failed to properly communicate the meaning of this saying to me. Writing a list of the things I fear the most is the only way tpo describe it. These are the things I have to work as hard as I can at and then leave it to the universe.

I trust my heart and am guided by my reason. Whatever will be will be.

Stay Bliss,

Laura

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

B L A C K

So I have been thinking recently about internalised racism. About how we are sometimes the most racist to ourselves and others of our race. Black people have the tendency to this (this black person in particular).  We both are and are not to blame for this as throughout history we have been oppressed and fed a number of lies which has shaped our position in society.

‘You are not intelligent.’ ‘Your hair is ugly and unprofessional’ ‘Your skin is to dark therefore you cannot be beautiful.’ ‘Your nose is to big, not dainty and elegant.’

Everything that has happened to us we have dealt with, fought and survived. Everything we are supposed to hate about ourselves is now deemed beautiful on anyone without dark skin. We are now in the midst of trends such as cornrows, big lips, big bottoms and being as bronzed and tanned as possible. All trends that most black people are genetically born with or adopted into our culture a long time ago. All things that we were ridiculed and put down for having. All things that were deemed ‘inappropriate’ and could mean you never were employed. All things that have been stolen from us, and sold back to us without any credit and a hefty price tag.

marc jacobs

I have been thinking a lot about internalised racism. I am in a good place and have learnt to love myself. I am able to recognise this because at one point this wasn’t the case. I subconsciously hated my skin. I hated the way my hair looked when it was wet, I hated the fact that I wasn’t as pretty as the other girls. Why couldn’t I be like the beautiful girl who was on the cover of cosmopolitan or vogue? Why didn’t the boys like me as much as they like the other girls?

My prejudice against my own race led to me trying my best to separate myself. I was proud of the fact you that I wasn’t a ‘typical black girl’. I like indie, heavy metal, festivals and crazy drunken parties so I’m not like them I’m different. I used words like ghetto and ratchet to describe people who looked just like me. I didn’t like what my skin represented so I tried to be different.

This is something I have only realised I used to do now that I am doing some self-reflection. The more I grow to love myself, I start to figure out the reasons why I was so down on my appearance. Now I laugh at the term ‘typical black girl’ and can’t believe I ever used it. I am also deeply upset I put black women into this box. There is absolutely nothing typical about us and is an extremely offensive thing to say. Of course there will be similarities that any two people of the same culture will have. However we come in different heights, sizes and body shapes. Some of us are extremely outspoken and some of us are really shy. Those of us of African or Caribbean descent will have the similar upbringings therefore similar stories. We deal with our traditional parents and the deep schism between the old school and the new school. There are many things we do that they can not and do not want to understand. A lot of subjects warrant the ‘in my day’ speech which I think is something we can all relate to.

As said in the beginning we are and are not to blame for our own racism. The negative feelings I had towards my skin come from a lifetime of being told that black is not beautiful. The image of beauty that has been given to me from the moment I understood what the word beautiful meant has never looked like me. If I think about my favourite toys, movies, celebrities, TV shows – they were never beautiful dark-skinned people. As little girls we played with barbies and toy babies, we watched Nickelodeon and The Disney channel and our favourite films were films like Toy Story and The Incredibles.

This was society’s way of teaching us what morals we should have and who we should inspire to become. Our favourite people did not look like us and were never from the same place. Thus began the image I started forming of myself and the dislike of the girl of the girl staring back at me in the mirror.

I am happy about how far I have come. I am happy about how far WE have come.

There has been a massive revival in the effort to get POC* to love their skin. Black businesses are growing and many are choosing to ditch the chemically straightened hair and weaves/wigs and embrace their naturally kinky locs. Black media has exploded and black twitter are forver there to bring focus to the issues of interest to the black community.
I love how comfortable I am in my skin and the more I learnt about the struggles of many people before me went through to get the basic freedom that I have, the more my melanin means to me. I have the freedom of expression and legislation behind me that in theory keeps my safe from attack or being discriminated against.

I am sad because we have a long way to go. The thought of young girls and boys going through the same battles I did is an upsetting reality. The reality is, if a POC types beauty into google they will see images they cannot relate to.

beauty

The reality is the world is still a pretty unfair place for us, in terms of living conditions, employment, politics and law enforcement. The reality is that as a people the black race is still very divided at how we can demand better for ourselves. The reality it takes learning about your history, and teaching yourself the black is in fact beautiful in order to live a life where you are happy with your skin.

As always I have taken the time to figure out what my feelings actually are about this. I have never been particularly outspoken, and have a hard time coming to you with a set of intellectual facts and figures. Talking to my family – especially the older generation has helped me love myself and my history. Hearing about the oppression people in my own family faced has forced me to wake up. It is easy to wish for another life, wish to look a different way, wish things were not so hard. However my ancestors dreamed of freedom. They dreamed of liberation from their slave masters. They dreamed of an education. They dreamed of having the right to vote so they could start to effect change to their society. They dreamed that one day their grand-children, and great-grandchildren (such as myself) will not have to fight the same battles they have had to.

I have unintentionally ripped of MLK’s ‘I have a dream’ speech but that’s how far you need to go to be grateful for what you do have and protest for the change you have yet to see.

Of course it is important to identify and challenge racism whenever you see it. But first you must deal with the racism you harbor internally and ask yourself why you feel this way. When you can except your shortcomings and change your mentality and behaviour you then can start to deal with the external world.

Stay Bliss,

Laura

*POC – Person of Colour

 

Sickle Cell & Me

My illness is something I have often talked about but have never written about. I guess it is because when you write about it you can’t cut the tension with a giggle or a little joke. However it I feel like it is an important issue to be aware of especially since it is the 2nd most common genetic disorder in the UK.

The last thing I wanted is to tell a story that was really sad or made you pity me. I didn’t want to write a long piece talking about how difficult life is for me or about how sad I am about never being able to have a ‘normal’ life. I can understand that reading this may be a little hard to swallow, you never want to hear that people you know have struggled in ways that you can not fathom. But the brighter the light is that is shone on these issues, the easier living together in cohesion will become.

So the truth is that it hasn’t been easiest life but it is all I have ever known. Both my parents have a sickle cell trait which meant it was possible but not definite that I would be born with the full-blown disease. I feel like it would have had a different effect on me had I had lived my most of my life not knowing about it.

Sickle Cell disease is a genetic blood disorder. The disorder affects the red blood cells which contain a special protein called haemoglobin (Hb for short). The function of haemoglobin is to carry oxygen from the lungs to all parts of the body. People with sickle cell disease produce unusually shaped red blood cells that can cause problems because they don’t live as long as healthy blood cells and they can become stuck in blood vessels.sickle If you want to read more about the science behind it you can here. When this happens it causes a very painful episode known as a sickle cell crisis. This can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days.

My childhood was relatively normal. All it meant was I had few more trips to the hospital than the average kid. I was physically able to do the same things as the other kids. I didn’t feel very different because a few of the children in my class had sickle cell to, as it is quite common amongst Afro-Caribbean people.  My primary years were full of a lot laughter, fun and the dramatic goings on of a primary school playground. I had quite frequent crisis’ as a kid and would always have to take a couple of days off school to recover.

Describing the feeling of having a crisis is so hard because it is something I only let myself think about in that moment. Once it’s past – it’s gone and not even worth me thinking about. Everyone with sickle cell has a completely different story about their painful experience. Mine always engulfed my lower back  first before moving on to my arm and leg joints. It is an intense, excruciating sharp pain which also feels like it’s pulsating. Sounds awful I know, not something I like talking about. However 9 times out of 10,  after a horrendous long night of my crying out in pain in my mother’s arms, I’d eventually drift off and wake up to find the crisis is over.

This is pretty much how my primary and secondary years went for me. I didn’t crisis to often, probably no more than 8 times year and made sure to completely make the most of the times that I was completely healthy!

Having parents who were always there for me and saw me at my very worst and very sickest has had a lasting impact on me. My positive attitude towards my disorder and the way I have chosen to deal with it came from my mum. She instilled two key things in me.

‘Don’t see yourself as disabled.’ My mum has worked in the NHS for most of her working life in a very different time. She knew that however wrong it is, once you check that box you open yourself up to a discrimination by people who will never admit to it. Her sister – my aunty was born with cerebral palsy, so she saw first hand the ugly face of discrimination and hatred towards the disabled.
Sickle cell by all intensive purposes is invisible. So it would do me well to keep it that way. This is something I have always kept with me. I have never written it on a job application. My philosophy is get in through the door, show them how great you are and when the times comes for you to explain why you need to leave early again for a doctor’s appointment – then I discuss it in-depth. By that time, they know me and like me and appreciate the work I have done and will continue to do for them.

‘Don’t marry someone with sickle cell.’ She doesn’t actually mind who I chose to settle down with but if I was to have a child with someone with sickle, that child will 100% be born with sickle cell. It isn’t something that I’d wish on anyone so if I could help it I’d rather not pass it on.

Using all the advice I got from parents, peers and doctors I was able to live a fun teenage life. I made great friends who were always understanding, I picked up some bad habits that were not great for my health and I pretty much was a normal ‘semi-rebellious’ teen. At one point I got pneumonia, which sucked and at one point my hands and feet swole up like balloons and I had to crawl everywhere for about a week. That also wasn’t great. In year 11 I got gallstones which REALLY sucked and I had to get my gallbladder removed which was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Compared to a crisis it was a walk in the park. My body was  and is really weird and reacts to things in the weirdest ways BUT for the most part I was good. Collectively these things sound quite bad but they happened sporadically over a period of 10 to 15 years.

At 18 I experienced one of the worst thing that can happen to someone with sickle cell – a stroke. Intense fatigue, an awful migraine and lot of confusion is the best way to describe it. I wasn’t afraid because I didn’t know it was happening. It was on Christmas day which was such a pisstake but I didn’t go to the hospital until the next day because I still wasn’t aware of what was going on. At no point when the doctors were explaining what was happening did I feel fear. Mainly because I was tired and confused and because I could see how guilty my parents felt for not realising sooner. Obviously I knew it was not their fault but I guess part of being a parent is feeling completely responsible for everything that your child goes through.

It was only a mini-stroke so within a couple of days I was back on the mend and had regained the feeling in the left side of my body. Friends and family were being amazing. Something I learnt from my earlier experiences of being is hospital is you could ask for pretty much anything and people would bring it to you. I’d ask for rice and peas and curry goat, KFC, magazines and pretty much anything I could think of that I fancied at the time. Also people always just brought you Lucozade, I guess that’s thing you do when someone’s in hospital.

And that was that. I was in hospital for two-weeks, in physiotherapy for a month. I had to drop out of college but in hindsight I could have gone back sooner but chose not to. The year went by and despite the dramatic health issues it was a pretty good year. I had 4 or 5 friends at the time who also weren’t at college so I always had people around me whenever I felt pretty low.
Some days did get very low. They say one of the post-stroke side effects is depression. There were days that I really struggled. Even though I got the all clear from my physiotherapists I never felt the same. I would forget words and lose my train of thought and was convinced that my smile would always be crooked. The NHS were great to me though and got me some help. Although I never have felt like my complete old self again, my mind and body healed over the next year.

Now for the weird part. Because of the stroke the doctors have put me on a treatment called an exchange blood transfusion. Similar to a blood transfusion but instead of just giving me blood, they also remove a few units of my ‘bad blood.’ This effectively means that they make sure by sickle percentage never gets to dangerously high levels. Yes this is intrusive and a bit of headache having to go into a hospital for a day every 6 weeks. However it means that I haven’t had a crisis in years because my blood has never reached ‘crisis’ levels. This is great for me because it means not only am I constantly being protected from the threat of another stroke but I also am currently a lot healthier than I ever have been. The weird part is because the NHS is so limited that you are only eligible for this treatment if you have suffered a stroke or another major traumatic event. So the friends that I have who also have sickle but have not had a stroke can’t get this treatment. I would never claim having a stroke is a good thing because it definitely is not but it’s quite sad that some people have to still be constantly in and out of hospital because that are ineligible.

Overall having sickle cell has shaped the way I see life. I realised a long time ago that I sometimes made myself ill by just thinking that I’d have a crisis. I would take longer to recover because I had reassigned myself to the fact that I’d always be sick. I soon realised that it was going to have to be mind over matter and tried from then on to be more positive. I noticed a difference in  my attitude and pain threshold when my mind-set changed.

Medicine has advanced so much so that the first sickle cell patient has just been cured. I am told that there is still a long way to go before it is implemented in the UK but it is exciting news nonetheless. Creative outlets such as this help me to stay upbeat and give me a chance to express myself.

My body still acts up sometimes. At the moment I have an ulcer on my ankle that I have had for the last year. It can get annoying and stressful at times but I am so grateful that I can still be active and pretty much live a life that anyone else can.

For now I will remain strong in who I am, do what I can to raise awareness and carry on enjoying life.

 

Stay Bliss, Laura

warrior

Click on the links below if you want information about giving blood and/or the sickle cell society.

www.sicklecellsociety.org

www.blood.co.uk

 

 

There ain’t no party like a pity party

‘There ain’t no party like a pity party’

..well this pity party has come to a much-anticipated end.

This last month has been a pretty rough one and I still can not put my finger on what was actually wrong.

What I can understand from it all, is that there was so much going on at the same shitty time. My work life, personal life and body all came to ahead and I was neck-high in a sea of emotions. The best way to describe is to say that I was drowning. Drowning in my negative thoughts and drowning in my immense workload. I was 100% focused on the negative, as I was only committed to thinking about how terrible I felt and how nothing would make me ever feel better.

This got me thinking about the different practical ways we get over a bad stint. It is impossible for us to be happy 100% of the times and entirely natural to go through prolonged moments of sadness. We all develop different ways of lifting ourselves out of these stress caves. It has been super interesting hearing different people’s’ tips and tricks for how they manage these.

One of the most popular suggestions was music.

 

Music is such a brilliant escape and has the power to really make you view your current situation in a better light. Some artists are born with the immense gift of getting others to feel what they feel. They somehow get you  to connect with them speaking to your heart as well as your soul. It can transport you to a different time of your life and give you the ability to look at your life through the artist’s lens.

I know for me personally music has always been the way I escape the stresses of the day. As soon as I get home from work its hair up and headphones on. I have an hour or two where I completely let myself go through the music that reflects my mood. I have to many cringey moments where somewhere has walked in on my dancing around like a  drunk butterfly and (trying to) hit the high-notes of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs ‘Gold Lion’ – well, not very well! But I get over it because it does me a load of good and by the time I’m ready to take off my headphones I am in a much better place.

Another of the opinions I received was to have a reliable support system. I found myself in such a state that I forgot I could ask for help. I forgot that my friends and family have been there too. No two situations are the same but you truly realise how much your loved ones can relate to your struggle and that can be the key to you overcoming it. For example, my mother has worked in the NHS for 25 years. I often make the mistake of still seeing her as the authoritative figure in my life that still will tell me off for misbehaving. But as I grow into an adult our relationship has shifted slighty as she becomes more of a friend. After weeks of avoiding the subject of work for fear of being told to ‘stop misbehaving’ I finally cracked and told her everything. I told her that I was struggling with my workload and how mad at myself I was for feeling this way as this was all I ever wanted. What never occurred to me is that she’s actually the BEST person to ask anything about the NHS to. Well she of course gave me sound advice – ‘don’t worry, you’re a very new junior member of staff, you’re not accountable for any major mistakes you may make.’ After this I opened up to my girls, they also completely understood and some were struggling with their work to.

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The lesson I learnt from this is that I am not alone. There are so many people who are going similar struggles or have already been through them and have many wise words as to how they did.

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The most practical response I received was from a friend who keeps a CBT diary. From my understanding this is a form of cognitive therapy. The idea of it is to effect self-change by taking steps to change your process of thinking. You can read about it here.

It is honestly something I have never tried in this way, but I can do a great deal of help. You evaluate every situation deciding how you felt at the time and how you felt about your reaction. You can then use this as a tool for self-improvement. You can change they way you react in a similar situation the next time round and then evaluate whether the improvements made you and the outcome better.

Getting everyone’s opinions on how they pull themselves out of a bad funk was certainly insightful. Now having got through it and seeing things a bit more clearly the key thing I’ve learnt is that it’s okay to not be okay. More often than not you convince yourself that you’re being weird and dramatic and no one has time for you. When you push through this and swallow your pride and ask for help you wonder why you didn’t just do this to begin with. Realising that people not only relate to your struggle but can help you in ways they were once help is taking a proactive step to getting yourself better. In terms of your mental health the solution isn’t so simple. It becomes less about pulling yourself out of a funk and more about asking for professional help.

thinkingMy first thoughts on my very first post were ‘it’s always darkest before the dawn.’ As silly and cliché as this sounds, it is very true. I still am struggling but I am happier for taking the time to talk to people and write this as I work my way through it.

And I wish the same for you. I hope you are happy. I hope you are working through your struggles and doing everything it takes to make yourself happy. No one is above help and sometimes you can be happily surprised at the advice and support you may get.

Stay Bliss, Laura