Trust

Trust is moral currency.

You word and your honor are two things – the human traits that decide your value.

Trust is one of those things that no matter how many tangible, worldly things you have to offer, it can make and break your social standing.

We always remember the people who blabbed your secrets to the entire school or who told that one person the thing you told them not to. I’m not proud to admit that I have occasionally been that person, still racked with the ‘why didn’t I keep my big mouth shut’ guilt. We have been there, right?

As you grow up having those people in your life you can tell anything to becomes more important. You never pray for the worst to happen but you do have that person who you know you can tell it all to. This becomes a necessary criteria when making friends.

Do they like the same music I do? Do they love the same food I do? Can they be trusted? Not necessarily in that order.

Trust begins to mean different things as time goes on. It becomes less about can I trust you with my secret, and more about can I trust you with my feelings?

When a friend comes to you with a private thought the first step is making sure you don’t tell. However it as equally important to make them feel comfortable and not judged. The worst feeling ever is when there is a massive problem in your world which someone just shrugs of. Hearing ‘get over it’ or ‘I have bigger problems than you’ is to me a breach of trust.

It is true hearing someone complain about how much they hate their job for the millionth time (me) or how their hair is doing that weird thing again (also me) or about their ex they are going to get back together with in approximately 2 minutes can be a drag. However many problems that you have may also seem like a drag to others. What you needed at the time was a trusting ear and a safe place. Trust means being that safe place.

Trusting someone with your heart is another big one. It takes a lot to bring your guard down and be vulnerable for another person. Intimacy is a beautiful thing to share with someone and in the right hands in can be an amazing experience. However we all have heard the horror stories of people who decide to betray that trust – normally for revenge. To me this is the biggest crime that can be committed against trust. That also goes for the highly unwanted but familiar feeling of heartbreak. Losing that intense line of trust can be heart wrenching.

Trust is a complex subject. I am fortunate to have a support system made up of friends and family who I can completely trust and rely on. Trust was a difficult subject for me to write about simply because it is something I never worry about. As life goes on your circle of friends gets smaller and tighter. I am 25 and am surrounded by people who I wholly trust, and who I hope can trust me.

Stay Bliss

 

Day 14 & 15 – 5 weaknesses and 5 strengths 

Day 14 & 15 of 31 day blogging challenge

Describe 5 weaknesses you have and 5 strengths you have.

As you may have noticed I swapped out the questions for todays challenge because ‘tell me about the last concert you attended’ just didn’t do it for me. I chose describing my weaknesses and strengths because in the traditional format you can never be completely honest. You will mostly get asked this in job interviews so the answer ‘well I am incredibly lazy’ however true that may be, will not suffice.
Also I was feeling totally down and uninspired yesterday, so I’ve decided to put day 14 and 15 days together. Sometimes a step back and a deep breath is all you need.

Do we ever really ask ourselves this question? It is needed in order to grow and develop in the areas we believe we are weak in.

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5 Weaknesses

Lazy / procrastination
This is going to be a forever a battle for me! I am the ‘I’ll do it later’ kind of person. From my dreadful experience at university I’ve come to realise that this attitude can be very damaging if I let it. I’m slowly getting myself out of that habit or finding ways around it. I literally have to put my alarm for 2 hours before I have to be up, just so I can be lazy and sleep for a couple more hours. I also have to say to myself, ‘later is great but why not now?’ The reason will mostly be because I want to lay around watching funny videos on YouTube. If that’s the case then it’s ‘GET ON WITH IT!’

Stubborn
I will not do something I really want to or should do if I am told to do it. I like doing things because I choose to and not because I’m made to. I may be completely geared up and motivated to do something (cleaning my room for example) but as soon as somebody comments or asks me to do it,  I just wont! Obviously I recognise that this mentality isn’t the best, I’m a work in progress.

Self-doubt
Growing up in a world where society’s definition of beautiful is constantly shoved down my throat often makes me (and a lot of people) doubt myself. I often ask myself if I’m pretty enough, I worry about my body, the thought of one day being fat, often buy into the newest beauty trends. You have to reach a point in your life where you actively set out to change this mindset and remind yourself that you ARE beautiful every single day.

To Helpful
I know this seems like of those sneaky not flaw flaws, but this can be a real problem for me. Sometimes I have such a need to fix things that I end up inserting myself into the drama. Not only have made things worse and actually not helped at all, now there is a whole new party involved in an ever escalating situation.

Impatient!
I have been doing my 12 month apprenticeship for just under 4 months and I can already feel myself getting impatient. I want to be at the point where everybody knows me and completely trusts me and I’m given more responsiblity. I want to know exactly what’s going to happen in the next 8 months and where I will end up. Am I staying or am I going? I need to be prepared! As much as thoughts like this whizz through my mind throughout the day, I have learnt to trust the journey. Embrace the journey and eventually it’ll lead to bigger and better!

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5 Strengths

Staying Bliss
Stay bliss represents the incredible decison I made just over a year to always stay positive. To keep dreaming, to keep working hard and to keep encouraging others. I can truly say I have become a MUCH better person since I started this journey.

Persistent
I never give up! As much as life has a way of testing me sometimes, I always keep going. I may take some time to wallow and throw myself a little pity party, but eventually I’ll pick myself, recalculate and continue moving forwards. Sometime it is a different path then I expected but still it is progress.

Loyalty
How many times will I bring up the sisterhood I hear you ask? Having some of the same friends since I was a little girl and some newer friends who mean just as much to me – I can’t help but talk about them. I’ve recently learnt that not all friendships last forever, as much as you think it will. However I am incredible loyal and supportive of mine as much as they are of me. It’s empowering having a group of people always in your corner, I will always be in their’s.

Ambition
Success is infectious and the more I succeed, the more I want to keep succeeding. I’ve always had a plan for my life and I;m at a point now where things are starting to come together. This all might just work out for me if I keep positive and keep pushing to reach my goals.

Relatable
One of the best pieces of feedback I’ve received about this blog – my words are relatable. I talk about my feelings about situations we all have. Every person is different and unique but there is so much connecting us. We all love, we all hurt and we all dream.

better

 

Stay Bliss, Laura

 

 

 

Day 13 – Something I’ve been putting off

Day 13 of 31 day blogging challenge

What is something you have been putting off?

Well I haven’t completed anything on my bucket list so technically this could all count as things I’ve been putting off. Or in better terms thing’s I’m yet to do.

Going back to university and getting a degree is something I really want to do. The reason I have been putting this off is because I have already been to university. I feel I was pressured into it  because that’s what you did – you finish college and go to university. I chose the wrong degree and was completely uncommitted to it from day one. I remember sleeping and drinking my way through freshers week, missing most of the introductory/ orientation days. This was a pattern that continued throughout my 3 years at university. I half-assed did everything and can’t remember going to a full week worth of lectures. However despite all this I still earned a full degree’s worth of student debt!

Some amazing things came out of my 3 year failed university adventure. I made the most amazing friendships. The friendships I made at university have lasted until this very day and I wouldnt change them for the world. I will touch more on this in my Geneva post coming up at the end of the month 🙂
I also learnt to live independently and loved it! Paying rent and bills; cooking myself up a storm in the kitchen; taking care of my own laundry and managing the weekly grocery shop are all things I successfully learnt to do on my own. This is partially the reason why I really want to move into my own place – I know I can handle it.
I now know what kind of personality matches my own in terms of living arrangements. You can’t just move in with any friend, and that’s not to say you don’t have a meaningful friendship. It just means that you are the kind of people who can remain friends as long as you DO NOT live together!

All this being said I wish  I took away from this experience the one thing that I went to uni for, a degree. So in order to make this happen I have had to think about a few things. Money being the biggest thing. I’ve asked myself a few questions that have helped me make some big decisions.

What degree would you do?
I’ve been really enjoying writing and it’s something I have had always had a passion for. English Literature is what I’m thinking at the moment. Or even creative writing. I’d like to better my vocabulary and get more creative and experimental with my writing.

Full time education again?
No! I know it will take me twice as long to do it part-time but this way I could fit it around my work schedule. I need to earn while I study because I do not want to put my dreams of moving out on hold for another 3 years. I am really unfussed about how long it will take. Life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Slow progress is still progress.

Where?
London. I have had my fun venturing outside the capital and experienced country living. Well sort of – does Northamptonshire count as country living? I would definitely want to stay close to family, friends and job while I’m studying. Although thinking about this now, what’s stopping me from getting a job, moving away and studying in some other place?

When?
Within the next couple of years if I can figure out a way to pay for it. At the moment I’m doing an apprenticeship with the NHS so I’m currently studying. So once I’m done with this and I’m hopefully in a new, permanent position and I can go off and get my degree.

What else would you do differently?
In one word – focus. I’m going to focus on my studies and make sure I complete with the best result I am capable of. If I really am as mature as I’d like to think, I would use this new opportunity to learn from and not repeat my past mistakes. I will have to make a pact with myself that I am going to completely commit, keep myself motivated, not procrastinate with homework!

Finally getting a degree is the biggest thing I’ve been putting off. Writing this has helped me figure out exactly how much I want it and what steps I need to take to get it. As always I’ll keep you updated 🙂

I’m going to go get researching! Any London university/course suggestions?

Stay Bliss, Laura

 

Day 12 – My Bucket List

Day 12 of 31 day blogging challenge

Share your bucket list

Honesty can be a difficult policy when it comes to getting real and sharing what you actually want from life. If you never share then no one will know if you fail. You will know though and will always wonder if the problem was that you didn’t believe in yourself. Maybe if you shared your dreams somebody out there could relate. Somebody out there could help you, the same way you could help with certain things. Somebody might quit thinking that there dreams are stupid if they hear yours are similar. So this is my bucket list / things I want to achieve. In no particular order of course…

1) Start a Stay Bliss YouTube channel

This has been on my mind for the longest time but the thought of starting my own channel terrifies me. I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a YouTuber! For one thing I have no idea how to edit videos. I know with a bit of self-belief, some classes and a lot of organisation I can do this. However for now I am very happy with blogging 🙂 I’m still working out how to use wordpress…

2) Get a tattoo

I want a ying yang tattoo somewhere on my body…

3) Travel to and around Indonesia

I have always wanted to visit Bali and want to take an eating trip around Malaysia. Their cuisine looks seriously tasty.

4) Run a Stay Bliss conference

Yes it is what it sounds like. I would like to run a 2-3 day Stay Bliss conference. A place where we can all get together and encourage each other. I’d get motivational speakers, mediation experts, beauty gurus, love experts, financial advisers to come and chat to everyone. The whole thing would be completely geared around helping people live the best most positive life they can. As you can see I’ve put a lot of thought into this. I’m just in need of money, a lot of money.

5) Get my own place

If you read my blog prior to the challenge you know that for me moving out of my parents house is the next big move for me. Right now I’m looking for a house-share. Getting my own place is something I’d like to do when I have enough money to rent on my own.

6) Work in a fun start-up company

Hover boards, scooters, rum cocktails etc working at a startup company sounds like so much fun!

7) Start again somewhere like San Francisco or Seattle

They look like really pretty, carefree places to live – that speak English.

8) Find actual real love

I guess this would be nice

9) Publish a book

Something I would definitely love to do but still thinking about. A completely fictional novel about the England gangland perhaps?

10) Get a degree

I never completed university and this has always bugged me. I would love to go back one day and get a degree in English Literature.

So that’s all I can think of for right now. It feels really great to share. Now that I have it all in writing on a public forum like this it will be all the more easier to focus and achieve. I’ll be sure to keep you updated, who knows you may get an announcement about a YouTube channel or a conference soon! In the mean time I encourage you to think about your own bucket list. Write them down so you can fully enjoy the feeling of slowly checking them off.

Stay Bliss, Laura

 

 

Day 11 – My 10 Favourite Songs

Day 11 of 31 day blogging challenge

10 Favourite Songs

Yesterday I stuck to my regular getting home from work routine. I get home, chuck my many layered coat on my floor, hang up my scarf and place my beenie hat on top of my draws. I tie up my hair and throw my big headphones on and spend the next hour dancing around my room like a lunatic. It’s the best stress reliever ever and by the time I go to bed I am truly drained.

I went on a bit of a binge yesterday – I listened to all my old favourite songs. I thought it’d be fun to list these as my favourite songs of the moment – so here we go. In no particular order…

1) Pixies – Hey

2) Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps

3) Erykah Badu – On & On

4) D’Angelo – Untitled (How Does It Feel)

5) Tame Impala – Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

6) Magic System – Premier Gaou

7) Nina Simone – Mississippi Goddamn

8) Jojo – Save my soul

9) Beyoncé – Dangerously in love

10) Raury – God’s Whisper

Challenges like this are so annoying because in an hour I’ll go ‘damn why didn’t I include that!’

Yesterday I also went to the cinema, can’t even remember the last time I went. I saw the most beautiful film called moonlight. I really do recommend it, it was so beautifully shot. The chemistry between characters was amazing, they didn’t need to say very much. Every look and touch spoke a thousand words. It was understated which made it so beautiful. It was about a boy growing up in hard circumstances and how he survives. It was money well spent, and a trip to the movies that was well worth it! I’ll definitely be buying the DVD when it comes out 🙂

Stay Bliss, Laura

Day 7 – Earliest Memories

Day 7 of 31 day blogging challenge

What is your earliest memory?

Eeek! Every since my first read through of these challenges I’ve been trying to recollect my first solid memory. Maybe this is too hard?

Since the day I was born my mother has always worked as PA / secretary in big swanky offices in London. This meant it was so much easier for her to send me to a nursery around her workplace so she could drop me off and pick me up on her way to and from work. I ended going to this wonderful nursery called St ‘insert name here’ in Waterloo. So I have totally forgotten what it was called but I remember my journey there with my mum and the warm feeling I had once being there.

There is so many images that come to mind when I think of being a carefree toddler in what felt like the most amazing place in the world. I remember making chocolate krispy treats with all my little friends, and singing my favourite tunes at circle time. I remember sharing a blanket with my best friend at nap time. I remember being so full of energy once waking up and ready to start all over again with my buddies.

It’s a shame that I don’t remember who they are anymore but I hope they look back on the memories as fondly as I do.

I initially started writing about my nursery times because of one key memory. All the other memories came flowing out. The memory is off the pastry shop down the road where my mum used to take me when I was good. Or when she was hungry. The smell of the freshly baked bread and cakes always invited me in. The colour of the different pastries and cake toppings completely engrossed me. There were multicoloured sprinkle topped cupcakes, the biggest most sugary fresh doughnuts, coconut and jam layered sponge-cakes and so much more. My mum used to lift me up on to one of the high tables so I could see the pastry masters at work. It was so busy, I think everybody in the city used to love that place. My absolute favourite used to be the iced finger buns. They were so sweet and buttery and were iced in lots of different colours. Whenever I am in the area I have a look for my favourite pastry shop. I believe the last time I had a look it had been shut down but I can’t be sure of that.

It is so funny how we archive memories such as these. It has been an amazing experience re-living this memory. I think about the lovely friends I made, the nursery workers who looked after me so well, the chefs who fed me the most delicious iced buns as my first delve into a blissful existence. I know there is no way I can be absolutely care-free as an adult. I have certain responsibilities now. However I can remember how it felt to live in a world full of positivity, light and freshly baked pastry.

I can aspire to feel that feeling again.

Stay Bliss, Laura

 

Day 5 & 6 – The BEST advice I have ever received

Day 5 and 6 of blogging challenge

What is the best advice you have received?

So due to the nature of day 5 and 6’s challenges I decided to mesh them into one post. Also something I discovered that I really need to work on, is making time to write on the weekend. When I have spare time at work, writing a post comes very naturally for me. However when it comes to the weekend I’d rather lay in bed nursing a hangover and catching up on Nashville then dedicate time to my much-loved blog. This week I am ready for day 11 and 12! I won’t let my blog or this challenge suffer because I’m procrastinating, I shall be super prepared 🙂

So on with the challenge..

Wow this is a very difficult question, especially as I am young woman trying to figure out how to live my life. I get advice from my elders, my friends and my colleagues on a daily basis as I recognise that I do need constant reassurance that I’m doing okay. Sometimes I know what the best decision is or I know that I’m on the right track but I need to hear someone else say it to me! With all this being said, I believe the best piece advice I’ve received is also the first advice I have a recollection of. Know your self-worth.

My life completely changed the moment I started to value myself. With all the growth and the self-improvement I have been doing lately it can all be traced back to the moment I began to value myself. Everyday I tell myself that I am important, beautiful and a good person. I tell myself that I can do whatever my mind can conceive if I work hard.

Okay this all sounds very cliché and cheesy, and our brains try to block out those cheesy sayings you hear all to often. But as I’ve grown up and come into contact with different people the first thing you notice is how much someone values themself. How much they stand strong in their opinions and beliefs, and how little they let the opinions of others – be it their peers or the media affect the image the have of themself. You also really notice if someone self-worth is tied to another person. If someone only values themself as much as they are valued by a loved one.

Do not get me wrong, I am all about the love. Seeing a loving couple so connected to each other is a beautiful thing. Of course your partner’s opinion will be very important to you. But you notice when after a bad relationship your self-worth was shattered that your ex’s opinion was the be all and end all for you.

Valuing one’s self is a lifelong journey. Things like heartbreak and rejection play a big part in a wobble in of self-confidence and value. But with all things you keep moving forward. You keep remembering everything good about yourself, and find a shoulder to cry on when you are having a wobble. You also remember how this feel and make sure you shoulder is extended to your loved one when their self-value is on shaky grounds.

Stay Bliss, Laura

DAY 4 – Favourite Blogs & Vlogs

Day 4 of 31 day blogging challenge

5 favourite blogs

So day 4 has had to be re-uploaded on day 5 due to many problems with the links in the description. No need to worry I will keep continuing and know for next time to plan these hyperlinked posts way ahead of time!

I have chosen interpret this challenge as ‘5 favourite blogs and vlogs’ as there a several YouTube channels that I am obsessed with. This list is no particular order, it is just my selection of online favourites.

1 – https://www.youtube.com/user/mmabutternut
I absolutely adore Mark and Ethan and fell in love with their vlogs since the day I came across them on YouTube. They are all about positivity, healthy living and adventures. Both Mark and Ethan are exceptional film makers and every vlogs is filled with cinematic shots – almost like mini life films. There energy is so infectious which is why when you start watching them you can’t stop. Yup I am defiantly a member of the Methan fan base!

2 –  https://seperateperspective.wordpress.com

So separate perspective is a blog created by my very close friend a while ago. I love reading his work as he is a beautiful and eloquent writer. If you don’t know him personally his posts invites you into his mind as he makes it his mission to get the readers to relate to his everyday struggles. He mixes real deep topics with he unique sense of humour to create this amazingly addictive blog!

3 – YouTube Mari Lil

So I have been subscribed to Mari Lil for a couple of years and just love her energy and humility. Mari Lil is a beauty, fashion and lifestyle YouTuber from the US. I take her tips on how to manage natural hair. I also love watching the little pieces of her life she shares with her audience.

4 – YouTube Anitta Black

Another beauty and fashion guru, I have been watching miss Anitta religiously since her first video. Also another friend of mine, I love her humour and her style of beauty. Nothing she uses is to expensive, yet she always ends up looking so glam!

5 – Foodie Blogs

This is one I need help with. I need some of your best foodie blogs because I’m looking for one to make my own! I have no-one at the moment I read consistently but I am looking! Any ideas?

Until later on today haha

Stay Bliss, Laura

DAY 3 – Why do I blog?

Day 3 of 31 day blogging challenge

Why do you blog?

The reasons I started blogging are different to the reasons I blog now. So let’s start with why I started to begin with.

On February 25th last year I was in a completely different place, mentally and physically. I was lacking a sense if purpose which at the time was tied into not having a job. My life was at a standstill. I wasn’t moving backwards or forwards. At the same time my friends were trudging forward with their life. I was also battling with a really bad ankle injury which made life that little bit more difficult.

However despite going through this difficult time something weird happened. I found all this motivation and positive energy from somewhere. It was immediately after I went on an employment boot camp which completely changed my outlook on the way I was choosing to live my life. I decided at the moment that I had to do something. Looking for jobs was draining but eventually I would find one and that worry would be over. In the meantime I could change the feeling of purposeless by creating a new purpose. That is when I created stay bliss.

I started to blog to help dig my way out of the hole I called home for way to long. I starting blogging to confirm to myself that I was ready to start trying again. I was ready to implement positivity into my everyday life. Things were getting better from the moment I started believing that it would.

So now I have different reason, different motivations and my purpose has shifted. I blog now because I fell in love with it. I blog now because I have seen what a difference it can make speaking good things into fruition. The feedback has been amazing and I love the idea that my words can help other people to. It is a surreal feeling being able to look back at your past posts and see how far you have come.

I haven’t reached all of my goals yet. There is still so much I want to accomplish and there is still so much life I need to live. If I am asked this question again in a year I’m sure my reasoning will have changed again. For now the there is a simple answer for this question.

I blog because it changed my life. I blog because it makes me happy. I blog because I love it.

Stay Bliss, Laura

DAY 2 – Stay Bliss – A definition

DAY 2 of 31 day blog challenge

Meaning of your blog name?

So what’s the meaning of stay bliss and where did it come from?
Like many bloggers before me I struggled with naming this blog. Once you have decided on a concept it is very important to find a name that matches it. I wanted to stay away from a blog with ‘positive’ in the title as I thought this might imply that I have been trained in human behaviour or motivational speaking.

Stay bliss for me is a concept. It is a way of living your life and dictates how you choose to deal with life on a day-to-day basis. Staying bliss is living a life for you. A life where your happiness is the most important of things. Happiness and wellbeing are like plants, they need love, care and a good environment to enable it grow and reach its full potential. So essentially we are plants!

Life can be incredibly tough especially when it feels like you are experiencing more battles than triumphs. The answer to how you stay motivated, balanced and above it all is still unknown to me. One day I think I have all the answers and do the victory dance because I  have figured out how to smash this life stuff. Alas the next day this all goes out of the window. I am forced to re-evaluate and relearn how to stay bliss. However these fundamental life nuggets to come back to really help with the journey.

There is something therapeutic about writing all your thoughts down. Stay bliss for me means giving myself the talk that I was avoiding. Hearing all those cliché sayings that are cliché for a reason. It’s visually seeing the juxtaposition between what you want to think and what you know you should think. Most of the time we know we shouldn’t give up. We know that the right career, house, love is all obtainable as long as we work hard. We may feel alone but we know our friends and family are there to support us. We just choose not to harness this support.Sometimes you need a read a sentence you have written to yourself – ‘SNAP OUT OF IT!’
It’s hard to argue with me..

One of my goals in life is to always stay bliss. And to keep encouraging others to stay bliss to. It is crazy how much your energy and outlook shape your whole life. As soon as you try to keep up your positivity and apply it to every situation things really DO start to become better. As I say time and time again, happiness is an inside job. THIS is the meaning of stay bliss.

Until day 3…
Stay Bliss, Laura

 

 

 

31 DAY BLOG CHALLENGE – DAY 1

Day 1 – Intro and a recent photo

So for the next 31 days I will be trying my best to participate in a 31 day blog challenge. When stay bliss first began I had no idea how much I would enjoy it let alone be willing to do a blogging challenge!

me-recent
Most recent photo..

I chose this challenge because I love the idea of having to write about something everyday and this is a big chance for me to develop. At the moment I can only write a post when I feel like I have something worthwhile to say. This may sound good but when I am feeling uninspired for a few months (e.g. 0 posts in september) this can have real effect on me and my blog. Challenging myself to write everyday will hopefully enable me to focus and motivate myself when it comes to writing instead of always waiting on that feeling. If there are any writers or bloggers  out there reading this, I invite you to do this challenge with me! If you express yourself through a different medium you may want to try looking for a challenge that suits you. There are tons of different ones you can find on the internet and you can tailor them to suit your style.

The one I have chosen is quite mature – there’s literally a question in there about kids! But the general feel of the challenge fits quite nicely with stay bliss so I will just be substituting the challenges that don’t apply to me 🙂

31

Until day 2…

Stay Bliss, Laura